AI Can’t Sense People: Helping Humans Be Human (and Why It Matters More Now)
How A Coaching Conference Reminded Me That Connection Isn’t An Algorithm
From Harvard to Humility: Walking Into a Room Full of Credentials
This weekend I was in Boston at the 2026 Institute of Coaching Conference—hosted by Harvard Medical School and McLean Hospital—and I loved it. It was my first time attending, and I was genuinely impressed by the quality of the speakers and the care people brought to the work. Plus, I loved being surrounded by like-minded colleagues.
And I’ll be honest: I also felt tender.
I walked into rooms filled with PhDs, MDs, and global leaders—people who’ve spent years inside institutions that reward academic achievement and expertise. There were moments where I could feel that old, familiar question rise up in me: Who am I to be here?
Part of that vulnerability has a history. I grew up in a fundamentalist patriarchy that didn’t emphasize the education of women. And while I’ve built a life I’m proud of, the truth is: I don’t have the letters after my name and in spaces like this, its easy to feel like I don’t belong. My pathway to coaching hasn’t been traditional or linear.
What I do have is a hunger for learning that was born out of near starvation. Now, after nearly a decade of devoted focus in the craft of coaching—I found myself in a successful coaching career. But learning was never about status for me. In many ways, it was healing and become whole myself. And over time, it has become a way I help other people become more whole, too.
AI Can Do a Lot. But It Can’t Sense a Human Being
One theme I kept hearing throughout the conference was change—easy change, hard change, inevitable change, the pace of change, our relationship to change.
And of course, AI was a central part of that conversation. How it’s changing leadership, business, and even the future of coaching.
I found it fascinating—truly. I’m not afraid of the conversation. I think we need it.
But the most important thing I discovered wasn’t a new model or methodology.
It was this:
AI can do many things—but it can’t sense people.
It can generate content.
It can summarize.
It can offer frameworks and prompts and plans.
It can even mimic empathy in language.
But it cannot do the subtle, sacred thing that happens in the space between two living beings:
the micro-shift in someone’s eyes when they’re trying not to cry
the pause before a truth that’s hard to say out loud
the energy in a body that says “no” while the words say “yes”
the relief that comes when someone realizes they don’t have to perform to be worthy
the physical reconciliation with decades of shame
the felt experience of being seen—without being analyzed or fixed
Connection Is Everywhere (If We’re Paying Attention)
The morning after the conference, I went for a run along the beautiful San Gabriel River in Texas and found myself noticing ordinary humanity with fresh eyes.
A man throwing a ball for his two big dogs, and the dogs watching—tails wagging—already knowing what was coming.
A parent and child fishing.
A toddler throwing rocks into the water.
Two elderly people walking and holding hands.
A group singing hymns in Korean for their outdoor church service.
Connection is everywhere.
Not flashy. Not optimized. Not “productive.”
Just… human.
And it made me realize something: even when we’re talking about leadership and coaching at the highest levels, what people are hungry for is often very simple.
To be at home with themselves.
To be with each other.
To feel safe enough to tell the truth and to live the truth.
To belong.
So Why Aren’t We Talking More About Relationship and Connection?
This isn’t a critique of the conference—I’m grateful I went. If anything, it clarified what I care about most.
Because inside all the structures—certifications, methodologies, frameworks, data, outcomes—there’s a quieter question underneath:
Are we helping people become more human?
Are we making room for relationship?
For nervous systems that can be at peace?
For love, grief, joy, desire, intimacy, repair, tenderness?
For the real lives people are living outside the office?
I noticed that when leaders were interviewed, some of the most meaningful moments came when they talked about the tension between performing and connecting—between being “successful” and being in relationship.
That tension is real for many of us.
There Is An Endless Amount I Still Need to Learn—But I Know How to Be With People
At one point, someone asked me: “What kind of people do you coach?”
And it made me smile, because I knew what she was asking. She wanted to know the occupations and demographics of the kind of people I coach. I sat back in my chair and said the only answer that feels true:
I Coach Whole Human Beings
Do I coach people with incredible titles and careers? Yes.
And they are also people with heartbreak, longing, shame, hope, fear, desire, and tenderness.
People trying to live meaningful lives in a world that keeps speeding up.
And maybe that’s the discovery this weekend gave me:
I can respect the brilliance in the room and honor the wisdom I’ve earned another way.
I can feel vulnerable and still know that I belong.
I can let myself be human—without needing to prove anything.
In the Age of AI, Our Edge Is Presence
If AI is going to handle more tasks, more outputs, more efficiency—then our human work becomes even more precious.
To slow down.
To breathe.
To listen.
To sense.
To connect.
To be with what’s real.
To help humans be more human.
And to remember to offer ourselves that same grace, too.
#Coaching #Leadership #AI #HumanCenteredLeadership #EmotionalIntelligence #Connection #Change #Presence #FutureOfWork
