Who's the Impostor?
I keep thinking about impostor syndrome and there's precedence for that because it keeps coming up, for my clients and for me. This recurring theme is nudging its way into my consciousness. Today I decided to look up an article on it and clicked on something like "The 21 things you can do to beat Impostor Syndrome" I start reading... and my thoughts start saying, "21 things? Dang~ that seems like a big list. This must be a big problem." And then "DING!"—my inbox rings with an email from a health coach marketing company and the heading says, “Feeling like you don’t know enough to help anyone else?” Seriously? Are the stars aligning to send me a message? I go back to reading and come across this quote from Maya Angelou~it's the second time I've seen this quote in a week! She said, “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’ " Seriously? She’s a fraud? Well, I’m in bigger trouble than I thought!!
Literally, minutes later I get a text from a friend about health coaching programs and I learn from our conversation that my program didn’t have this certain accredidation that another program had...I did a frantic search on how I could get more "ABCDEFG—HIJKLMNOP" after my name. I need more certifications...spend another $6000 it said! No, I should just get my degree in health coaching...and a master's degree, too. Certificates! Papers! Accredations! Degrees! The hamster wheel in my head was spinning fast! The list was mounting and it was then~at some later date~I will finally feel worthy to help someone. My impostor takes center stage, "How can I coach anyone? I just don’t know enough yet! Plus, I still send Mitch for chocolate lava cake after a super long run or a ridiculously hard day!!" The sinking feeling settles in...."I can’t health coach anyone--OMG, I’m an impostor!"
I freeze in my tracks and feel like I can't take another step. I’m done. I’m not moving another inch. I am paralyzed by my own fears.
Would the real Cathy Dunford please come forward?
Then a certain client comes to mind. I start thinking about how he struggles to feel like he can be a "healthy" person. He has his own idea in his mind of what that means. He feels like when he's being healthy, he's just cheating--faking it---holding his breath--until he is unhealthy again. Because down deep he believes that he ISN'T actually a healthy person, he's just PRETENDING to be healthy for now to please his partner, or his boss. Wait--he's an impostor, too? An unhealthy guy pretending he's a healthy guy! And the minute he does something unhealthy, like have a slice of cake...well, it's game over!! Because everyone knew, most especially him, that he was never actually that healthy guy he was trying to be. So there you have it--his cover is blown. He's found out. No more pretending to be the "healthy" guy!
I guess being the impostor means that you don't know everything there is to know or you aren't perfect at acting on everything you DO know. You are wingin' it--doing the best you can. Taking a swing at the ball. And if you miss, or fail, or fall off the wagon then does that make you a sham? If you try and you fail, does that make you a fraud? If you do a 14 day detox for just 7 days and then eat something off the menu, does that mean you're a fake? A failure? Okay, what about this? I have a friend who just won a half marathon race! She ran super well and she won! It was terrific! So if she doesn't win the next race, does that make her a fake? Does that mean she isn't really a good runner or a winner after all? Does she have to win EVERY race, ALL of the time? Of course not. Being a true winner is understanding that you celebrate your victories when they come to you and you use them to make yourself and your world a little better. But being a winner doesn't mean you never lose. It doesn't mean you know everything there is to know about everything. And it doesn't mean you never eat cake.
What if I were to know everything there is to know about butterflies? That would make me an expert. I'm quite sure I would have the title of "Butterfly Guru" after my name. But having all of the information or the title is of little value if I can't reverence the actual magnificence of the transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly. And when it comes to squishy, hairy caterpillars or ugly, brown cocoons in a state of change —I know that story in my bones. I have spent some time in the caterpillar's shoes. I have been party to the beauty of the whole messy and imperfect process surrounding the emergence of an incredible butterfly. As it turns out, I think my superpower~that doesn't come from a paper title, labeling, guru sort of thing~ is my ability to "see" the butterfly and to know it isn't just a caterpillar faking it. There is a spirit in the ongoing transformation of another human being that really needs to be revered, and celebrated, and admired. I see the most amazing butterflies every day, and I am in awe that I get to be a champion of their transformation. It's the gift of being a coach...I have front row seats watching another human being discover their own identity and beauty and power. It's humbling and incredible.
I don't know everything there is to know about diet and nutrition and life. I don't have every title. But I have experienced transformation myself...in messy stages. Plus, I see it working every day in the lives of my clients. I don't have all the answers but I do know that healthy is love and peace and exercise and eating plants and prayer and even chocolate cake sometimes. Healthy is a journey not a destination. It's a million tiny, good choices that outweigh the not-so-good ones. It's balance. It's perspective. It's self-love. That’s healthy. Maybe I can be a health coach after all?
Let’s talk about how I can be of service to you. To book your free consultation visit my website at https://www.cathydunford.com/thecoach or email me at cathy@cathydunford.com.
Believe in your butterfly, my friend.
Photo by Braydon Anderson on Unsplash